The sound of howler monkeys and the singing of the evangelical church next door compete until the rain begins- a steady, roaring downpour that lulls me to sleep almost instantly. I wake hours later to the same sound, content beneath the canopy of my mosquito net, and listen to Aura and Doña Juana's sing-song banter in the next room, separated from us by a plank wall that stops 5 feet below the corrugated tin roof, punctuated by the slap-slap-slap of their hands forming the first batch of the day's tortillas.
It is my third morning in Santa Lucia Lachua and I am already in love.
The past two days have been inspiring in a way that gives new meaning to the word. I am honored and humbled to work alongside a true visionary; a man who works tirelessly from morning until night, without pay, to organize and uplift not just his community but the 33 other communities that fall within ADAWA's area of influence. He is a hard worker who spent years rising hours before dawn and walking from the highlands down to the campo to put in hours of backbreaking labor in the fields, so that someday he could realize his dream of owning enough farmland to provide security for his family.
He is a devoted father to his 10 children, all of whom have attended not just primary school but university (which is no small feat or expense in this poor, rural community located far from the department capital), and a loving abuelo to his 3 grandchildren, who will receive the same opportunity in the coming years.
In addition to being a devoted community member and family man, Don Ramiro possesses a deep insight into the challenges faced by his community and region, one of the most marginalized in a country notorious for socially and politically oppressing the indigenous community. His counsel is worth its weight in gold for Tara and I, the two young gringas who stand heads above most of ADAWA's 400 members and struggle to understand, let alone speak, the halting, guttural Q'eqchi' that is the native (only) tongue of most members.
His fellow community members find him as indispensable as we do; his advice and mediation are sought in almost every dispute or disagreement that arises between communities (of which there are many). In the first 48 hours following our arrival, Don Ramiro had 3 meetings with a nearby community who has blocked a public path that crosses onto their land for a mere 15 feet, preventing some members of Santa Lucia Lachua from reaching their own fields further down the path. He has arranged, attended, and translated a 3-hour-long meeting with 30 local health workers for Tara and I's benefit, and spent every meal collaborating with us on future plans for this fledgling association that is truly unlike any I have encountered in my three years of exposure to Guatemala's NGO scene.
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When I arrived back in Antigua in September, I wasn't sure if I wanted to stay. I simply knew that I wasn't feeling happy or productive where I was (living and working back home), and that the winter was fast approaching. Antigua was the last place I had felt genuinely happy, and thus seemed like the logical place to return to in search of the feeling. I missed having not just a 'job,' but a purpose- a project to throw myself into with complete and utter abandon. I missed the exhaustion and exhilaration of attacking an insurmountable challenge. I missed my work.
I returned to a slightly different Antigua than the one I left, which is not uncommon in a small town whose fabric is unraveled and rewoven every three to six months with the ongoing exodus and arrival of old and new faces. My closest friends remained, but without a real job to anchor myself to, I felt the strain of the late nights, partying, and constant comings and goings of the people I interacted with on a daily basis. For all my excitement to return, I found myself paralyzed with fear to jump back into the professional arena, no longer romanticizing or amnesiac about the severe emotional toll that the trauma I dealt with on a daily basis in my previous position had taken on me.
After several months of feeling lost and unhappy for various reasons and a particularly rough holiday season, I made the decision to move back to the states. I accepted that my life was heading in a different direction and that perhaps it was time to shelve the dreams I had held for so long in favor of a more 'logical' path. I enlisted the help of my boyfriend and planned a surprise visit home in January to ease my homesickness and make the announcement to my family in person. I was incredibly excited to be coming home, ecstatic that I could soon begin seeing my loved ones on a regular basis again, rather than every few months, and cease feeling like I'm missing out on so many precious moments in their lives.
A few weeks before my scheduled departure, a friend mentioned in conversation that she had begun working with an association up in Alta Verapaz. As she shared details of this new endeavor, her excitement was palpable, and after listening to her for several minutes it was easily apparent why. Knowing my background in community health, we discussed the possibility of me visiting the area and planning a nutrition workshop prior to my departure. I walked away from that conversation feeling refreshed, light, energized. I felt like myself again.
Over the course of the next few days, as we continued discussing the details of this project, I became more and more captivated by how unique and unconventional it was. I walked away from each conversation with my head spinning with ideas about how to apply my experience in pursuit of the association's goals, and began to feel that familiar pull to dive in, headfirst, and submerse myself in it.
After a genuinely heart-wrenching week of indecision, I accepted and admitted to myself and my loved ones that I simply could not pass this opportunity by. I could not leave Guatemala. For all the fear and self-doubt I have carried with me over the past several years, I still believe in myself, my abilities, and my dreams. Above all of that, I believe in Don Ramiro and I believe in the vision that he and his community share for their future.
For those that were eagerly awaiting my move home this weekend, having patiently said goodbye to me countless times and tolerated several years of long absences, I am sorry to let you down. I think most of you have already accepted my lifestyle, although I still struggle to accept that the pursuit of my dreams prevents me from partaking in the daily life of so many of my loved ones.
I have never been more excited, or more proud, to be a part of anything as I am to be a part of ADAWA. The potential that this project has is immense; the model, inspiring. There will be innumerable challenges, but I genuinely believe in the power of this community to organize, empower, and develop themselves from within, when given the support they are so earnestly seeking.
MANY more details to come over the next few weeks... I hope that with each update, you'll grow to love this project and our community as much as I do. Thanks to all who followed my last endeavor so closely, and also to my family and friends back home for continuing to love and support me from afar.
B'antiox, everyone ('thank you' in Q'eqchi'). Another adventure begins :)
Great read. You are a fabulous writer.
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